


Gideon is Wrong

by NotaDroid (mjonhunt)



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Grieving, Hallucinations, No Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:42:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24636268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mjonhunt/pseuds/NotaDroid
Summary: Following the episode "Hanley Waters", Emily appears to Reid in a hallucination.
Relationships: Emily Prentiss & Spencer Reid
Kudos: 13





	Gideon is Wrong

"Gideon was not right. Do you hear me Spencer? He was not right. It is worth it. The work we do, it's always worth it. We can help people. You can help people." Spencer Reid looked at the woman speaking. It was Emily Prentiss.

But it couldn't be. She was dead. Ian Doyle killed her. So, the woman in his apartment wasn't her.

Obviously.

Reid had come back from a case. Before they left for the case, Reid had to have a grief assessment with his boss, Aaron Hotchner. Everyone was having assessments done, on account of Emily's death. During his, Reid had said that he thought Gideon might have been right, maybe happy endings were impossible.

"Say you understand.," the woman said. She looked so much like Emily. "Spencer, tell me you understand."

"What am I supposed to understand, Emily?" Why was he calling her Emily? She's not Emily. She's not real. Emily is dead.

"That it's worth it. The work we do is worth it. Being an FBI agent and a profiler is worth it."

"We? You don't do it anymore. You're dead. You died on the table in the hospital. You're dead."

"Are you sure?"

"Don't say that. Don't ask that question. You died. JJ said so. You died and we couldn't save you."

"Then again, I didn't give you a chance to help me."

Spencer turned away from the vision of Emily. This was the second time he had hallucinated her. That is, if you didn't count his dreams. Dreaming about someone, that was in the normal range of human experience and brain function. Hallucinating, however, was a sign of mental illness. Maybe if he turned away, he wouldn't keep hallucinating. This would end.

Except he felt her hand on his shoulder. He closed his eyes tight and bowed his head. Not now. Not again. Don't feel real to me. It's a sign I really am becoming just like Mom.

"Don't turn away from me Spencer. This isn't what you think."

He turned around and looked at her. "Then what is this? I'm seeing you when I know you're dead. You're telling me Gideon was wrong, except Gideon was never wrong."

"Gideon was constantly wrong. He left without saying a word to anyone."

"He left me a note."

"Just like your father."

"Don't say that. I'm the one who said that."

"And I'm the one who asked the question. I'm the one who knew it bothered you. Just like I'm the one who knew you were using."

"They all knew. They just didn't say anything."

"Just like they didn't say anything to Elle. Except for you."

"You don't know that. Maybe they talked to her, tried to reach out to her."

"Let her come back way too soon. Because they were glad for her to be back. But did they think something was wrong."

"They must have."

"Because you did? They're not as smart as you are."

"Why are you doing this? Why am I doing this?"

"Are you doing this?"

"My mind is. You are a figment of my imagination. You're questioning the team."

"No. I am not. I'm just telling you Gideon is wrong. I'm telling you to keep on being a profiler and an agent. I'm telling you, you're smarter than the rest of the team. I'm telling you you need to notice behavior."

"I do that. I can't stop doing that."

"But who's behavior are you noticing?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, Spencer Reid, you aren't seeing me because you're grieving. You're seeing me because you know something's not right."

"Of course it's not right. You're dead."

"Am I?"

"Of course you are."

"How do you know?"

"What do you mean?"

"Did you see my body?"

"JJ said you died on the operating table."

"Did you ever see my body?"

"It was closed casket."

"So, you never saw my body?"

"This right here, it's denial. I'm trying to convince myself that you're alive. That you could be alive."

"So, answer me one question, Dr. Reid, what if I am alive?"

"But you're not."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Really? But something is bothering you, isn't it."

"It's not one thing."

"So tell me, what's wrong?"

"Hotch did the assessment. To see how we're feeling about your death."

"So?"

"It doesn't make sense."

"He doesn't want an outsider to do it."

"Maybe. Or he needs to know our reaction and state-of-mind for a different reason."

"Like what?"

"I don't know. If you were alive, it would mean you faked your death."

"And JJ lied."

"Which means the State department is involved."

"And maybe Hotch knows."

"If you were alive, pretending you were dead would be a way to make sure Doyle didn't go after you."

"Or you. Or the team."

"Or your mother."

"Or me mother."

"Why wasn't she there? At the funeral."

"We weren't that close."

"I don't think that's it. Something isn't right there."

"And why keep everything a secret."

"To protect us. And Declan."

"Was that it?"

"No. You couldn't tell us everything. Not without permission. You're still under the authority of INTERPOL for security clearances."

"Yeah. So why did I leave breadcrumbs for you."

"In case you didn't kill Doyle. So we would find you."

"You did. But Doyle got away."

"Did you?"

"I don't know. I'm just a figment of your imagination. But you can find out. Do you know what that means?"

"Gideon was wrong. You aren't dead. Or may not be dead. If you are alive, trying to find out if you're alive could put you in danger."

"True. Then again, if I told the team from the beginning, maybe Doyle wouldn't have gotten away. Isn't there a reason we work as a team, instead of working alone."

"Then why didn't you?"

"You're the profiler, you tell me."

"You're not thinking like a profiler. You're thinking like a covert operative. You're thinking like Lauren Reynolds."

"How's that working for everyone?"

"You need us."

"I might."

"I won't know unless I find out."

"Right. So tell me Spencer, do you believe me? Or do you think you're just in denial."

"I don't know yet. I need someone to talk to."

"Who?"

"I don't know. Not yet."

"Until then, tell me Gideon was wrong."

"Gideon was wrong."

"Make me believe you."

"This job matters. We don't save everyone, but we do save some people. We catch people who need to be caught. We make a difference. I can't give up."

"Keep going."

"I won't give up."

"You're getting there."

"Gideon was wrong."

"Good boy." Emily gave him one her warm smiles. If only she was real. If only she was here.


End file.
